"God Help Me to be a Better Listener"   
 

by Jonathan Perz

 

"Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath..." (Jas. 1:19). I have recently learned three powerful lessons about listening that I hope you might find beneficial in some way... 1) There is a difference between discernment and passing judgment when it comes to hearing things you disagree with. By all means discern, but exercise wisdom in passing judgment on every word you disagree with. It can and will be construed as not listening, particularly when one is wrestling with the issue at hand. Sometimes, someone just needs to express their thoughts, sound out their reasoning and give voice to their confusion to find clarity and conviction. Yet, judging and expressing disagreement with their every word will create a stifling and oppressive environment to such healthy and natural growth. 2) Your silence does not imply your approval. Fear of being thought of as approving often compels us to express disapproval. Yet, validation (a critical part of listening) often fails where constant disapproval reigns. To understand and validate why someone feels the way they do does not equate to approving and encouraging them in their misunderstanding. Yet, before we can understand and validate, we must learn to listen with empathetic ears instead of judgmental ears. The wise man said, "He who has knowledge spares his words, and a man of understanding is of a calm spirit..." (Prov. 17:26). 3) Opening hearts and building trust are nigh unto impossible in the face of constant rebuff. When every point is attacked and countered with an opposing view, a spirit of defensiveness and an entrenching of thought (even wrong thinking) set in. Instead of being open to examining our views, we become more concerned with defending our own thinking at all costs. It is hard to be objective in the face of perceived attack. Fight or flight naturally kicks in and fruitful discussion of disagreement departs. By no means have I got this listening thing down, but I have gained a little more insight on what it is to be "swift to hear...". God help me to be a better listener.   For Past Auburn Beacons go to: www.aubeacon.com/Bulletins.htm   Anyone can join the mailing list for the Auburn Beacon! Send your request to: larryrouse@aubeacon.com

 Other Articles by Jonathan Perz

The Reluctant Disciple
Light or Darkness
"Confused" by Truth
Dressing Our Daughters Like Prostitutes
Is the New Testament a Law?
Coming to the Defense of Sin and Error
Fellowship With God is Conditional