Are We "Committed" in Our Marriage? 
 

by R. J. Evans

Commitment is the cement which keeps the bricks of marriage in place. Sadly, many couples in our selfish, self-indulgent culture do not make a genuine commitment when they marry. I believe the Scripture gives four basic, clear principles that define the necessary commitment for marriage. Too many among us approach marriage  concerned only with  self— “what’s in it for me?” Commitment demands something other than that. 

1. Commitment between marriage partners begins with a deep trust in one another (1 Cor. 13:7). This means that we do everything possible to maintain trust.  Nothing is done to violate the promise, the vow, or in any way destroy the priority of the two remaining "one flesh" (Gen. 2:24).  Trying to make one’s spouse jealous is foolish, juvenile, and can be a precursor to serious marital problems. 

2. A solid marriage demands deep devotion to one another (Eph. 5:22-25). This takes the commitment from a promise to a passion.  It means that we cannot live the promise without total effort to meet the needs of our mate. It means that we would never abuse, use, or take advantage of our spouse.  We protect and provide for one another—supplying each other’s needs.  When our spouse is sick, we care for them with deep devotion and loving concern. In  such a marriage, we each fulfill our God-given roles. (1 Cor. 7:1-9; Eph. 5:22-29; Col. 3:18-19; Titus 2:1-6; 1 Pet. 3:1-7). 

Also, a devoted husband or wife will not indifferently sit by and allow someone else to use, manipulate, mistreat, or take advantage of their spouse. This is especially true of a husband toward his wife since he is primarily her provider and protector (Eph. 5:25, 28-29; 1 Tim. 5:8). This principle is illustrated in Paul’s attitude toward the Corinthians.  He told them: “For I am jealous for you with godly jealousy.  For I have betrothed you to one husband that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ” (2 Cor. 2:2)  But then notice his deep concern for them in the next verse: “But I fear, lest somehow, as the serpent deceived Eve by his craftiness, so your minds may be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ” (V. 3).  Likewise, he earlier gave them proper instruction, “lest Satan should take advantage of us”  (2 Cor. 2:11). 

3.  A happy home is where the husband and wife are dependent on one another (Gen. 2:18).  Here there is developed a strong sense of mutual need and dependence.  The husband and wife see the other as strength to their own weakness—a God-given complement (Gen. 2:18, 23).  No one will be allowed to come between the husband-wife relationship--not parents, grandparents, children, in-laws, or friends.  Also, jobs, hobbies, outdoor activities, sports, etc. should never be allowed to drive a wedge between a husband and wife. 

4.  An unshakable determination to succeed is the standard equipment in the home that is outfitted for a lifetime of happiness. Just as the Apostle Paul pressed toward the goal of heaven (Phil. 3:14), the faithful couple presses on toward making their marriage a success.  Nothing happens without complete effort.  If we will make it work...it will work.  More than that, it will be to God’s glory and our joy. 

With these truths as our constant companions, the strong winds of adversity and trials will never blow our marriage apart.  “Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matt. 19:6).

 

Other Articles by R. J. Evans

The Blight of Bitterness
Murmurers and Complainers
Responding to Our Enemies
Envy and Jealousy
I Am Praying For You
The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire