Have
you ever been involved in a discussion as to whether parents have the
ability to motivate their children to obey God or not? I have and I know
there are brethren who teach that we cannot really do that. Basically,
they teach that all we can do is put the truth before our little ones
and it will be each child who determines his own destiny. This is a
comforting remark to those who have children who never obey the Gospel.
Certainly, none of us deny that our children will have to make their own
decision of salvation; i.e., it cannot be forced. But is it true that
all we can do is to put the truth before them? I wonder what is meant
by that.
Parents
(normally young parents) have often asked me questions concerning
raising children and there are usually two or three points of priority
that I stress. One of them is in being consistent. Consider that
principle as we study.
Do you
recall that Jesus, as He came to the end of His life, prayed to the
Father (John 17:3-4).
He knew He would die the next day and He summarized what His life had
meant to God. "I have glorified thee on the earth: I have finished the
work which thou gavest me to do." Have we ever meditated over the way in
which Jesus glorified God? Remember, He was getting ready to die. It was
just a few hours away and at this moment He is able to say, "I have
glorified Thee". How did He know He had glorified God?
The way
in which Jesus glorified the Father, was in obedience. He said, "I have
finished the work which thou gavest me to do". In other words, Jesus
said He had accomplished the work of making God known to man (compare
verse 3). Jesus brought to mankind a true knowledge of God. Whatever we
want to know about God -- simply look at Jesus. For example, how does
God treat the sinner, feel about sin, or think about a certain
situation? Look at Jesus' attitude, His teaching or His example and we
will have our answer. But there is another point we can draw from this
text.
Now, if
you or I want to glorify your God (and isn't this our task; cf.
Eph. 1; Rom 8:20ff;
etc.), then you accomplish the work that God has given you to do. Isn't
that what Jesus did? That is, you find the abilities that God has given
you and you take advantage of the opportunities that God has given you.
You do the thing that God put you on earth to do. For example, if you
are a woman, you have a different function than a man. If you are a man,
you have a different function than that a woman. The point is that some
of us have ability in one area while others have it in another. But God
expects us each to take whatever ability we have and use it with the
strength that He has given us. "If any man speak, {let him speak} as
the oracles of God; if any man minister, {let him do it} as of the
ability which God giveth: that God in all things may be glorified
through Jesus Christ, to whom be praise and dominion for ever and ever.
Amen.” (1 Pet 4:11)
Now,
consider that everyone of us one day will be on our own death bed (if
the Lord hasn't returned). At that time, we will want to pray as did our
Lord. And we will have the opportunity of making that statement He made,
"I have accomplished..." But will we be able to make it when we
consider the life we have lived?
To be
able to make the Lord's statement at our death is the goal we must seek
to instill within our children, from an early age. How we stress to
them that they need good jobs. And we take them fishing and we enjoy
vacations. We make all the sacrifices to run them around to this
practice and to that meeting. We school them in academics and see to it
they take their music lessons. Our lives are so filled. Our teenagers
then see the things money can buy and they want the jobs that will give
them this. On their own, they are motivated to study and learn. They
see the pleasures of this world and they are motivated to seek them.
How
frequently is the task we each have before God pushed aside by parents
and young alike? As parents, have we understood that from the moment we
brought that little life into this world, we were responsible to get it
to understand and fulfill its God given best to accomplish the task God
has for it? Oh, we teach it; say it. Yes, we take them to services,
but is it in our life and in their life; i.e., "in the doing of it"?
Too often, we appear to think that at some magical moment our children
will as adults start the "doing" of Christ filled living. No, it should
have been the "doing" from the time they were toddlers. From those
years, have we consistently in teaching and example helped our children
accomplish God's will? Have we taught them that God's work is their
primary concern, even while children? Is this consistent with the way
we live?
Have we
trained our children so that we will be able to pray when we are near to
death, "I have finished the work which thou gavest me to do." Have we
so implanted that vital thought into the minds of our young so that they
too will happily pray, "Father, I have glorified you. I have used my
life for that purpose. I have used my abilities in service to you."
That is an awesome statement that our Lord was able to make. Yet, if we
walk in His footsteps and use Him as our example, we ought to be able to
make that statement.
In
life, whatever it is, and of all the thousands of things that each one
of us do and live, nothing matters other than living and using our life
to glorify God. How insignificant are sports, dress, and all the things
we fill our children's lives with. I know of no greater tragedy then
to bring young into this world so that they spend eternity regretting
the life they lived. Again, it is worth every effort so that my child
on his deathbed will be able to say, "I used my life, my abilities, my
time, my personality, my knowledge, my family, my wealth, my home for
you, God." Our Master was able to say it. Paul was able to say it
(2 Tim. 4:6-8).
Will I be able?
It
brings grief to my heart to see young people come to services and sit on
back rows (as if to get as far from the activity as possible). Where
did they learn that idea? Many of these do not participate. Some even
play or sleep (by the way, they are not the only ones). Even if not on
the back row, others want to sit behind their parents (and for what
reason?) It grieves me to see young people come to spiritual classes,
rowdy, never prepared, not caring. We sound the warnings but are often
scoffed. I wonder, why don't these parents care? What can they be
thinking? Then in a few short years, I learn what they were thinking.
I hear them say, "I did all that I could, I raised them properly, I
brought them to church, ..." Did we do all that we could? Yes, only
God will judge them, but how many of us may be losing our children
without cause?
How
often a young mother will have a baby book which records, baby's first
step, baby's first solid food, baby's first toy, baby's first spanking,
and so on. She may place a lock of hair within its pages and the
footprints of her prized little one. She has so many dreams and
aspirations for that one she cherishes. I have great sympathy and
compassion with such parents who have children who do not obey the
gospel. I don't claim to know the answers nor why it was so. And folks,
I would not want to add one undue weight of guilt upon parents of
unbelieving children, but at the same time, let me implore young parents
and grandparents. Never for one moment forget, that little life that is
brought into this world should be trained and taught that the most
important goal in life is giving God his best; to do his task for God.
Instilling this into his heart won't be accomplished easily. It will
require more than making sure he sits inside a building of the church at
a specified time or that he gets his Bible lesson. It requires effort,
consistency and priority. For example, it may mean (or may not) he must
forego some athletics, scouts, entertainment, etc. If at the tenderest
of ages, we are consistent in emphasizing what his life's dream should
be--shall we not normally expect to see him prosper in the Lord? Help
him from those earliest of years to learn, know, and pray to accomplish
his own task before God. Else, how many of us will look back on
cherished baby books and mourn that our child should never have been
born? May God help us and may we help each other so that we will never
have to feel that pain.
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