Children do not have the
ability at birth to understand the language of their parents. We all realize
this, but we should also understand that these little people do not know the
commonly accepted rules of etiquette, nor do they recognize property rights.
Each child seems to assume that anything he finds and likes belongs to him.
Only gradually does he learn that some things are his and that other things
are the property of others. The innocent child does not, of course, have any
sense of discernment between what is morally right and what is wrong.
Because of parental failure to guide or train the children many young people
never come to have a definite code of morals or sensitive consciences to
guide them in the way of righteousness.
While many are not trained to
discern between good and evil, they could have been trained. They are as
capable of developing faith, godliness, and spiritual wisdom as they are of
developing physical skills and language skills from people about them. Some
parents take an interest in helping their children to develop the ability to
earn a living but not much concern to teach them how to live. There are many
who are skilled in athletics, music, and in various aspects of business that
are as ignorant of spiritual values as the brute beast from the jungle (2
Pet. 2:12, KJV). That which is most important is lacking.
Parents must have the respect
of their children or they cannot convey the value of their own knowledge and
experience to them. Love, instruction, personal attention, and the proper
example from parents can go a long way toward obtaining this respect. To
make their word authoritative, the chastening rod is recommended by the word
of God. This is not physical or mental abuse, but it is not always pleasant
to the one who is disciplined or to the one who is administering it. Even
the Lord chastens those He loves.
"My son, despise not thou the
chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: for whom the
Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye
endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he
whom the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement, whereof
all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. Furthermore we have
had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence:
shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and
live? For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure;
but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness. Now no
chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless
afterward it yieldeth the peaceable f' lit of righteousness unto them which
are exercised thereby" (Heb. 12:5-11).
We may not be able to
identify the occasions when the loving heavenly Father is chastening us. Our
complaining bitter attitude toward things that are beyond our control will
not help. Fortunate children whose fathers love them enough to use the rod
at the proper time and in the proper way grow up with special respect for
their parents. Those undisciplined children cannot be pleased. No
undisciplined child is ever a happy child. He is not self disciplined nor is
he pleasant and cooperative in disposition. Is this not true of the
unrestrained children you know? Love suggests the use of the rod, but not to
the unreasonable point of abuse (Prov. 13:24; Col. 3:20, 21). There
is the very useful form of discipline that yields the peaceable fruit of
righteousness (Eph. 6:4; Prov. 13:24).
The punishment the child
receives from his parents should be adequate to bring his will into
subjection. Impulsively hitting the child may only aggravate the rebellious
attitude. Conquer the rebel and be consistent, and there will not need to be
a constant running battle. A good man should have his children in subjection
with all gravity (1 Tim. 3:4, 5). There is some "know how" involved
in proper discipline. Children are small for a few years so all parents
should develop a skill in the use of effective discipline. Obedience is one
of the greatest lessons to be taught, and here is where discipline in the
home comes into its place of very great importance. An adult can buffet his
own body and bring it into subjection, but a child lacks the depth of
understanding to discipline himself, so his parents provide wise and
effective discipline until he is trained and mature enough to see the need
to control his own fleshly nature.
-- Truth Magazine,
February 17, 1983