The "Age" of Accountability
(Note: I
wrote the following while serving as an elder in a local congregation.
We had lots of children and we were concerned some might be prematurely
baptized.)
Parents in
our congregation may be having some concerns about when a child is ready
to become a Christian. Perhaps some of you are in discussion with your
children about baptism. To assist you in your discussions, I am
providing some things to consider:
Age of
accountability is not an age at all, but a level of readiness and
maturity. Parents, you must determine your child's level of maturity.
Those of us who are elders, Bible class teachers, or the preacher,
cannot do it because we spend limited time with your children. You have
the most contact with them and can best evaluate their readiness to make
a life long commitment. Here are some questions to ask or ways to help
you determine if your child is ready:
1. Is your
child only afraid of going to hell at night?
Or, do they express their fears and need during the light of day as
well? Someone truly convicted will have concerns beyond the "night
fears" that are common to children.
2. Does
your child want to put off getting baptized until some future day -- at
worship, for instance?
If so, then they may not see the urgency of baptism. Someone truly
convicted will not want to delay. (Acts 22:16 " And
now why do you delay? Arise, and be baptized....")
3. How
long have they discussed the subject?
Do they bring it up on their own or is it prompted by you or some other
event (like someone else being baptized)? We need to be wary of the
"bandwagon" effect.
4. What
sins do they claim to have committed?
Have them write down all the reasons they feel they should be baptized.
Keep their reasons for some future date when they may question whether
they were baptized for the right reason.
5. Ask
them what would have been the Ethiopian's reaction if Philip said he
could NOT be baptized? (Acts 8:36)
If they realize he would have had to have done it anyway, then ask
them, "What if I said `no' to you about being baptized?" Do they feel
as if they would have to do it anyway? Are they willing to do God's
will before their parent's will? Interestingly, Jesus at the age of 12
determined that he needed to be about his Father's business. He was at
the age that his Father's will was more important to him than the will
of his parents (Luke 2:49).
6. Ask
them, "How will your life be different when you become a Christian?" Do
they have an "old man of sin" that needs to be crucified? (Romans
6:6).
What
follows are some other thoughts from various preachers and Christians.
You may agree or disagree with some of what is said. It is only offered
to help you to consider some things you may not have considered before.
Consider This
What would
most parents do if their 9 or 10 or 11 or 12 year old came home and
said, "Mom and Dad, I believe in Jesus Christ and I want to be
baptized"? I think most parents would be thrilled beyond words! They
would rush that child down to the building and upon their confession of
Christ, the child would be baptized. But now consider this:
If that
same child came home and said, "Mom and Dad, I do not believe in Jesus
Christ and I won't be going with you to church services anymore!"
How would
most parents respond?
"You're
not old enough to make that decision! You're going to church with us!"
Now
parents, consider very carefully: If children are not old enough to
decide against Christ, are they old enough to decide for Christ?
Another Consideration
Often we
preach about baptism and children feel compelled to respond. They know
the answers but can they live them? Too many children later get
"re-baptized."
Ask
yourself this question: Would you let your 13 year old get married? No?
Why? Because marriage involves a lifelong commitment. In much the same
way, one commits for life to the Lord. A child does not yet understand
the nature of such a commitment. Just as we would not approve of their
marriage at a young age, we should seriously think about allowing them
to commit to the Lord when they don't know the nature of that
commitment.
A Word from a Coach
Having
spent 16 years coaching football and wrestling, I have noticed that
there is significant change that occurs around the 10th grade. When I
get 9th graders (14 - 15 years olds) they typically are still children,
more concerned with playing and playing around and having fun. Around
10th grade many are making significant changes toward accepting personal
responsibility toward preparing for the contest, their place in the
team, and teamwork. Before it was about playing and fun. Now it becomes
more about the team and the contest and the work involved to get better.
Some kids make the shift earlier than others, some later, but it seems
to me that across the board, its about 15-16 that the change occurs. At
9th grade I'm still coaching kids, at 10th grade I'm starting to coach
young adults. Some surveys reveal interesting information about those
baptized around 15-16 as opposed to 10-12. According to the survey, far
more are still faithful among those baptized at 15-16 than at 10-12. Of
course, we have to be cautious about the use of surveys.
For those
kids who feel compelled, even though they are not ready (8-10 year olds
especially), they often seem satisfied when reassured that young people
like themselves are safe with the Lord, and not yet lost.
In Conclusion
One final
word: Pray to God for help in leading your children to make the right
decision at the right time.
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