"I Don't Want A Divorce"

by Mark White

GOOD! Hopefully, you are saying this when you are not in the process of getting one. It is too late to say "I don't want a divorce" when your mate has hired a lawyer and filed the papers. Married couples must PLAN to stay together. They must make up their minds that they do not want a divorce before some problem brings them to that dreadful point. It is refreshing to hear couples who are facing marital difficulties say, "We don't want to get a divorce." If that is the case, then here are some things that will help you keep that commitment.

1. Don't Marry Someone You Will Have to Change.  Marry someone you like just the way he or she is, because that is the way he or she will be! Walking down a marriage aisle will not change what you do not like about the other person (unless it is the bride's maiden name).

2. Put Your Mate Before Every Other Human Being.  Mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, friends, and even children must play "second-fiddle" to your mate. It's sad that some married people put their children before each other. Actually, the greatest gift parents can give their children is the security which comes from a mother and daddy who love each other more than anyone else.

3. Learn to Express Your Love for Your Mate.  Love is never out of style. It is not wrong for mates to be tender with each other. From the wedding day to the golden anniversary and beyond, mates need each other's love.

4. Live Within Your Means. It's easy not to do so. Building up huge debts tends to break down any marriage.

5. Learn Six Important Words.  "I am sorry" and "Please forgive me" are phrases not heard very often in many homes. Men, especially, are prone to dismiss their wrongs without asking forgiveness.

6. Build the Self-Image of Your Mate! The tendency is to blast each other with insults and put-downs. Our self-worth in the home is determined mainly by the way our mate treats us. Become a "Chamber of Commerce" for your mate. Be sold on your mate, and let him (or her) know it.

7. Seek Common Interests and Goals. This is becoming more difficult in a society that encourages us to be individualistic; to "do your own thing." Doing things together goes a long way in building a marriage.  Christians must make their primary goal that of going to heaven. Work on it together! Find hobbies, etc., that enable both mates to be together.

If you don't want a divorce, then do something to prevent one!

  

Other Articles 
Restore Such a One
Alternatives to Indifference
Liberty or Addiction
What Went Forth?
The One Who Loves You Enough