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University church of Christ

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The Greatest
(A Study of Different Kinds of Love)

by Robert H. Farish

 

The combination of the two words, "the greatest," has lost much of its significance due to the careless over use of it by society that is conditioned by Hollywood and the advertising media to superlatives. It is unfortunate that we have not been more conservative in expressing appreciation. Honesty in appraisal and accuracy in expression would greatly curtail the use of "the greatest." These introductory words are intended to alert the reader to the possibility of his failing to properly appreciate things which really are "the greatest." When God says a thing is "the greatest," "you better believe it!"

The Lord's ambassador cites three great things and states the greatest of these is love. "But now abideth faith, hope and love, these three: and the greatest of these is love" (I Cor 13:13). This statement of the superlative place occupied by love among these three abiding things has been discussed and explained by some of the great minds for nearly two thousand years. While we need to be careful to avoid being dogmatic about conclusions of finite minds, as to why love is the greatest, yet certainly harm cannot come from humbly considering the question and meditating upon the characteristics of love which elevate it to the place assigned it by God's Holy Spirit. But there can be no question that "Love is the greatest" — God said it. 

Faith 

Love is the greatest but it does not cancel out, nor in any way minimize faith. Faith is essential. "Without faith it is impossible to be well pleasing to God" (Heb 11:6). Love of God cannot exist in the absence of faith; "for love is of God." How can one, who does not believe "that He (God) is," love God who is the source of love? Love is "the greatest" but let no one get the idea that he can love his way to heaven without faith. Realizing the essential place of faith will raise one's respect for the word of God when he realizes that "belief (faith) cometh by hearing...the word of Christ" (Rom 10:17). 

Hope 

"Hope" is one of the abiding three. Hope is universal. Man without hope deteriorates to a mere animal existence. "Hope is the anchor of the soul — it is sure and steadfast, unlimited by space (Hebrews 6:18-20). “The valley and the deep darkness of death" is relieved of fear by hope. Hope of being like the glorified Christ motivates one to purify himself (1 John 3:1-3). Hope is indispensable, yet love is the greatest. 

Love 

Why is love the greatest? Love, unlike faith and hope, is not only a human exercise but is also divine. Men can believe and hope, but both God and man love. Furthermore, the faith unto the saving of the soul and hope, the anchor of the soul, will have served their purpose when we "see him as he is" (I John 3:2), but love is eternal — it is as enduring as God for "God is love." But after all is said, whether we know all the answers to the question, "Why is love the greatest?", the fact remains that "the greatest of these is love." God said it was the greatest. None can afford to be indifferent to that which God has appraised as the greatest. 

Despite the lip service offered at the shrine of love, it remains little understood and seldom practiced. Someone said, "Society is in love with love." It is certainly in order to extol love but we need to realize that the Bible did not say that love is God, but rather "God is love." God, not love, is to be worshipped; to worship love is idolatry. "God is light" (1 John 1:5), but this is not the same as saying light is God. Ancient idolaters worshipped light; the sun was god to them. John warns against the error of lip service to love apart from the practice of love. "My little children, let us not love in word, neither with the tongue; but in deed and truth" (1 John 3:18). Love is a course of action, a manner of life. It is deed and reality, not mere emotion, that God commands. Many Christians "love in deed" who are unable to shed tears. Inability to distinguish between the two Greek words most often translated in the New Testament by the English word, "love," has confused, mislead and caused some to despair of being able to love as God required due to the absence of emotional experiences. This study is concerned chiefly with drawing a distinction between the two. The two Greek words are "phileo" and "agapao" in some of their forms. Phileo appears about 28 times in the New Testament, while agapao appears well over 100 times. The average Bible reader is perhaps better acquainted with phileo and is liable to expect the characteristics of phileo to be required every time he sees the English word, "love." Such is impossible as we shall see in this study. This love (phileo) will be considered first. 

Phileo 

"Phileo is to be distinguished from agapao in this, that phileo more nearly represents tender affection" (Vines). Some have translated this word with the English word, "like." This love is love of affection. The object of this love is attractive. This love "comes naturally." It is the love of the emotion; it has to do more with the feelings than with the will. This love is what people have in mind when they talk about "falling in love." These will appear from the examples of its use in the New Testament. 

Passages Illustrating the Use of Phileo 

Here are some passages in which "love" is from the Greek word, "phileo." Matthew 6:5 "And when ye pray, ye shall not be as the hypocrites: for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets that they may be seen of men:". Love here is in the sense of "like" — they liked to put on a show — they were not praying to God; they were seeking the praise of men. 

Matthew 23:5-7 "But all their works they do to be seen of men: for they make broad their phylacteries, and enlarge the borders of their garments, and love the chief place at the feasts, and the chief seats in the synagogues and the salutations in the market places..." The English word "like" expresses the idea here. "Phileo" is their attitude toward human praise. Luke 20:46 is parallel to Matthew 23:5-6. 

I Timothy 6:10 "For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil..." This is the love of the miser, the person who accumulates money simply or mainly because he likes money. The longing for material security can easily lead to one coming to depend on money, rather than on God. This inordinate affection for money yields all kinds of evil. The "status symbol" is something which can be obtained with money, whereas character is the product of agapao.

 3 John 9 "Diotrephes, who loveth to have the pre-eminence," is another place where the Greek word used is a form of "phileo." Diotrephes' unsanctified ambition, his love for personal pre-eminence yielded nothing but evil. This evil craving for preeminence did not die out with Diotrephes; it continues with us until now. The church for which Jesus died has always been afflicted with some who are motivated by the spirit of Diotrephes. This spirit is the very antithesis of the spirit of Christ. 

Matthew 10:37 "He that Loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and he that Loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me..." This teaching does not minimize the vital role of family affection, but rather points up the danger of "phileo" (emotional love) becoming so distorted as to transcend ("agapao") love for God. To love (agapao) Christ the Son of God, is to keep his word (John 14:21, 23). When one allows his feelings for family to prevent his rebuking their sin or error, he is in violation of Matthew 10:37. Frequently, people fail to do what they know to be the will of God due to an improper affection for family. Love for God must have priority in every situation and relationship. When this is the case true love for family and all men will exist. 

John 11:3 "Lord, behold he whom thou Loveth is sick..." This is the message which Mary and Martha sent to Jesus when their brother, Lazarus, was sick. Their use of "phileo" indicates that they recognized the "warmth, closeness and affection" which Jesus felt for Lazarus. This love was not the love of reason (that love was, of course, present), but in this case the word of love of emotion is used. Notice that the Jews used this word when they observed that "Jesus wept." They said, "Behold how he loved him." The human sympathy of Jesus expressed itself emotionally. 

John 20:2 "She runneth therefore, and cometh to Simon Peter and to the other disciple whom Jesus loved..." Here John identifies himself as the other disciple for whom Jesus had a warm affection. 

This word is used of the love of God for His Son (John 5:20). His love for the apostles because of their love for Jesus (John 16:27). This warm love, love of emotion, is to be cultivated for brethren (I Peter 3:8; Romans 12:10; I Thess 4:9; Heb 13:1). The young women are to be taught to cultivate the love of feeling for their children and their husbands (Titus 2:4). 

The final reference we will notice in which (phileo) love is used is John 12:25; "He that Loveth his life loseth it..." This passage discourages one loving his life! But Peter wrote approving one loving life! Peter wrote, "He that would love (agapao) life and see good days..." (I Pt 3:10). There is no contradiction. Jesus taught that inordinate attachment to this life would lead to the loss of life which is life indeed. When one comes to "like" this life so much that he devotes his attention exclusively to it, he loses life. Peter explains that the love of reason for life will lead to restraint and molding of the inward man to fit one for life eternal. 

"Agapao," not "phileo," is the love which Paul declares is "the greatest." This is the love of reason. The will of man must be exercised. "Love (agapao) whether exercised toward the brethren, or toward men generally, is not an impulse from the feelings; it does not always run with the natural inclinations, nor does it spend itself only upon those for whom affinity is discovered" (Vines). 

Passages Illustrating the Use of Agapao

 John 3:16 "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth on him should not perish, but have eternal life." The love of God for mankind transcends the love of emotion of feeling. What is man that God should "like" him? "For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: for peradventure for a good man someone would even dare to die. But God commendeth his love toward us, in that while we were sinners, Christ died for us" (Rom 5:7, 8). The love of God is not limited to those who by their righteousness or goodness attract him; if such were the case none could qualify.

Matthew 5:43-48 "Ye have heard that it was said, Thou shalt love thy neighbor, and hate thine enemy: but I say unto you. Love your enemies, and pray for them that persecute you; that ye may be sons of your Father who is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sendeth rain on the just and the unjust. For if ye love them that love you, what reward have ye? Do not even the publicans the same? And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? Do not even the Gentiles the same? Ye therefore shall be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect." God does not require the impossible. He does not require us to feel warm affection — to "like" our enemies, but he does require us to love our enemies and pray for those people whom we do not like. It would be a long step in the right direction if we could persuade brethren to pray for brethren whom they don't like! To whom do you do good? For whom do you pray? 

Matthew 22:35-40 "And one of them, a lawyer, asked him a question, trying him: Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law? And he said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second like unto it is this, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. On these two commandments the whole law hangeth, and the prophets." From this it is seen that this love is commanded. Jesus stated that "this is my commandment that ye love one another, even as I have loved you" (John 15:12). 

I John 4:7, 8 "Beloved, let us love one another: tor love is of God; and every one that Loveth is begotten of God, and knoweth God. He that Loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love." John has told us that "this is life eternal, that they should know thee, the only true God, and him whom thou didst send, even Jesus Christ" (John 17:3). No one can rightfully claim to know God who doesn't love his brethren. 

I John 5:3 "For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments." The concept that some seem to have of love cannot be reconciled with this inspired statement. They would classify the require-merit "that we keep his commandments" as legalism and they want no part of "legalism." Such concepts cause people to presume on the love of God by falling down on the love that God requires man to exercise toward God in order to "keep (himself) in the love of God" (Jude 21). 

Do you love God? "And this is love that we should walk after his commandments (2 John 6). 

You are loving your fellowman when directed by the "golden rule." Jesus said, "All things therefore whatsoever ye would that men should do unto you, even so do ye also unto them: for this is the law and the prophets" (Mt 7:12). But notice in connection with this his statement, "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second like unto it is this, thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. On these two commandments the whole law hangeth" (Mt 22:37-40). The "law and the prophets" requirements with reference to man's treatment of man is summed up in the "golden rule" — "this is the law and the prophets." The "whole law," i.e., the law regulating man's attitude and action Godward plus the law regulating man's attitude and treatment of other men, is comprehended in the command to love God and love man. 

The very real possibility exists that the love of reason exercised comes to incorporate the love of emotion and the two merge so that either term can describe the situation. The boy's mother, father, teachers, and Christian associates taught him to treat others courteously. Good manners, consideration for others and deeds of kindness for strangers as well as family and friends was taught. The golden rule became a habit. He automatically held the door for others to walk through first; he pulled the chair back from the table to seat the lady who might be next to him, etc. One day, the first week of college a young lady came to the table where he was. The agapao he had been taught seated the young lady. When she graciously looked up and smiled, thanking him, he noted big pretty eyes — a beautiful smile. At that point phileo began to move in on the scene. Phileo grew alongside agapao until one day they stood before a preacher and said, "I do" till death do us part. Because agapao did not relax or retire leaving phileo to sustain the relationship, but continued to be exercised, "they lived happily ever afterward."

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